No Matter What, I Am Always Here
by cdharma31
Summary: Carter boils over Abby. Abby pines for Carter. Then something terrible happens. Will they realize that even after all has happened, they were meant for each other? Read and Find out! More to Come! Continues after A Thousand Cranes eppy.
1. Default Chapter

pIt was your typical Chicago day. Snow was falling on the ground, adding to the six inches that had already accumulated. The wind was blowing hard enough to make you feel like you couldn't breath. The weather guy said the temperature was 17 degrees, but with the wind chill it would feel like thirty below. Abby pushed her way through the double doors of the Emergency Room at Cook County General. Randi was seated behind the desk. Susan was yelling at someone in Trauma One. Luka was hovering over a patient. Kerry looked like she was looked for someone's ass to eat for lunch. Abby rushed into the lounge to avoid her.p"Mornin'" Carter said without looking up from his file.p"Hi to you too. You want to tell me why you snuck out this morning?" She asked slightly annoyed.p"Chen needed to leave, so I covered the end of her shift."p"Have I done something?" Abby was more than a little annoyed.p"No, why?" Carter still did not look at her.p"Because you are acting like I just stole your lollipop." She hung her coat in her locker. "Are you going to say anything?"p"Nothing to say." Carter replied in a huff. Abby angrily walked out of the lounge. She saw Susan walk out of Trauma 1.p"Hey Susan, can I talk to you for a minute?"p"Sure, this room is clear now, we can go in here." She held open the door and followed Abby in. "What's up?"p"Have you talked to Carter yet today?"p"No, Why?"p"He's pissed off at me for something and I was wondering if he might have casually mentioned it to you."p"Why would he be mad at you?"p"I don't know. I think he was going to ask me to marry him last night."p"You mean he didn't?" Susan asked incredulously.p"You knew?" Abby was stunned.p"Yeah," she sighed and sat down on the gurney, "He showed me the ring and Said he was going to ask you last night."p"I saw the ring last night. It fell out of his coat."p"Did you like it?"p"Duh, who wouldn't? But why didn't he ask? We were at dinner and he was giving me this whole speal about us and changing and all that garbage, and then nothing. He barely spoke to me on the way home and then he snuck out early this morning without so much as a kiss goodbye. Explain that."p"I think you should talk to him about it."p"I can't. He'll think I was snooping."p"No he wouldn't." Susan stood up and walked over to the doors, "Look Abby, Carter loves you, that's obvious. One way or another, you will be together." Susan walked out leaving Abby there alone.p*******************p"Halleh, I need to run this sample upstairs for Weaver, can you keep an eye out for me. It shouldn't take too long."p"Whatever."pAbby walked up the stairs slowly. She hadn't been able to concentrate since she had spoken to Susan this morning. Susan was right. He would ask her when he was ready, so why was she fretting over it so much? Because she wanted him to ask her and she wanted it so badly. She got to the top of the stairs.p"Oh, excuse me," she apologized after bumping into someone.p"No problem," she heard a man's voice and looked up, "I'm Dr. Johanssen, I will be the new ER attending for the year, and you are?" He held his hand out her.p"Abby, Abby Lockhart. I'm the Nurse Manager down in the ER."p"Nice to meet you Nurse Abby."p"Abby is fine," she said removing her hand from his. She instantly felt uncomfortable around him. There was something about him that she didn't like. "If you'll excuse me, I really have to go." She walked away from. She could feel the eyes burning into her ass.p*********************pFifteen minutes later, Abby was waiting for the elevator to go down. It finally opened after what seemed like and eternity. She walked inside and pressed the button. As the doors began to close, and hand went between them. "Well, hello there Nurse Abby," Dr. Johanssen stepped inside. Abby backed herself against the back wall.p"Please, just call me Abby."p"Oh, I will call you whatever I want to call you," he walked up to her and put his face only inches from hers, "In fact, I will call you what I want and do with you what I want."p"I don't know what kind of sick and twisted world you live in, but there is help for people like you," she slipped away trying to press the button for a closer floor. Dr. Johanssen grabbed her arm forcefully and slammed her up against the elevator.p"Let's get one thing straight. I don't know who you think you are but you do NOT speak to me in that matter." The coffee smell on his breath made her nose burn.p"Get you hands off of me!"p"I like when you fight, it makes it so much better." He leaned in to kiss her and she spat in his face. He slammed against the wall again and raised his hand and slapped her in the face. Her back hurt and the taste of copper filled her mouth from where she had bit her lip. She looked into his eyes. There was something so horrible deep within them, something that she didn't want to believe, something she didn't want to feel the wrath of, something that terrified her inside...........pLet me know what you think and I will continue. I welcome criticism and I also like to know what you would like to see happen next. It helps me with my writer's block I get sometimes. Thanks! 


	2. Leave Me Alone

"Leave me alone, please," she whimpered quietly.  
  
The man hovered in her face, looming above her. "I will get what I want and there won't be a goddamn   
thing that you can do about it." He said to her through gritted teeth. Abby shuddered beneath his grasp.   
She was horrified. His face inched closer to hers and his lips pressed strongly against hers. She tried to   
turn her head, but he only grabbed at her throat. She couldn't breath and she felt as if she were going to   
throw up. She tried to push him away from her, but he grabbed one of her arms and punched her in the ribs   
with the other. She hollered out in pain. Tears streamed her face. She wanted him to stop. She had no   
strength left and feared what he would do to her now that the elevator had been on emergency stop.  
  
"Did you really think that you could fight me off? That's real cute." He smiled at her and stroked her hair.   
"I like it so much more when you fight. But don't worry, nothing is going to happen now, not yet. I want   
it to be perfect. Perfect for you and me."   
  
Abby tried to control her anger, and her fear. She wanted nothing more than for the elevator doors to open   
and Carter to be standing there, waiting for her. Dr. Johanssen stared at her for another minute.  
  
"It would be in your best interest to keep this between you and me. If you don't, I promise you that I will   
make your life a living hell. Understand?"  
  
"Yes," she said weakly. She watched as he pressed the go button on the elevator. He threw a napkin at   
her.   
  
"Clean yourself up. You look dreadful." The doors opened and he was gone. Abby couldn't move. She   
just stood there shaking, trying to control herself. She need to get out of the hospital and she needed to get   
out now.  
"Abby, you can't leave. We are already short-handed," Susan spoke to Abby on the phone.  
  
"Too late, I'm already gone. Look, Susan, just tell them something, make something up, I don't care, but I   
can't be here today. I'll explain it later." She hung up. She took the El home and stopped by the liquor   
store. Why? She didn't know why, it just seemed like the thing to do. She needed something to make it   
all go away.  
"Carter, I think you should go and talk to Abby," Susan said to him outside of Exam 1.  
  
"Why?" He asked not looking at her.  
  
"Well, for one, she left the hospital without a reason, just said she'd tell me later, and she sounded really   
upset on the phone."  
  
"Well, she's a big girl, she doesn't need me." He started to walk away. Susan grabbed his arm.  
  
"Would you get your head out of your ass and step down from you high horse! She needs you more than   
anything right now, especailly since you backed down last night, you ig chicken."  
  
"How did you know?" Carter was shocked.  
  
"She told me. She saw the ring Carter, it fell out of your coat. Why didn't you go through with it?"  
  
"I couldn't. She didn't seem like she was all there. I was talking about changing and she was like 'people   
don't ever change' and I didn't know what to do."  
  
"Do you love her?"  
  
"Yes, I am" he made quotation marks with his fingers, "desperately in love with her."  
  
"Then go to her. She needs you. I'll cover."  
  
"Thanks Susan."  
Abby sat on her couch facing the unopened bottle that sat on the coffee table. When she had gotten home,   
she had taken a hot scolding shower and cleaned up her face, although she had a nice cherry welt forming   
under neath her eye that was going to be hard to cover with makeup. She wanted to drink. She wanted to   
make all of her pain go away, but she couldn't force herself to take a drink. Why? Because of Carter. He   
was right. It wouldn't help her to drink. It wouldn't stop tomorrow from coming. It wouldn't make Dr.   
Johanssen leave her alone. Nothing would. She was interrupted in her thoughts when she heard a knock at   
the door. She didn't move, only stared at the locked door. There was another knock.  
  
"Abby! Are you in there?" It was John. She couldn't face him, but she knew he would keep banging at   
the door until she opened it. She carefully got up and walked over, unlocking it and then opening it,   
turning around quickly.   
  
"Hey you," he said quietly and tried to put his hand on her shoulder. She quickly brushed it off. "Abby,   
what's going on?"  
  
"Nothing," she mumbled and walked back over to the couch.  
  
"Then why did you leave the hospital," he followed her, "And why is there a bottle of tequila on the coffee   
table?"  
  
"Just leave it alone John. It's not your problem."  
  
"Abby," He sat down next to her, and she turned away from him. She did not want him to see her face. "I   
love you. That makes your problems mine whether you like it or not. I am here now and I will always be   
here, so please just talk to me." He stroked her hair and could hear her trying to muffle her cries. Slowly   
she turned around and faced him. He saw her face, her fat lip and bruised eye. Tears welled up in her eyes   
and she tried to speak, but no words came. Carter simply wrapped his arms around her. As he pulled her   
closed to him, her robe had fallen open and he had seen the redness that was now appearing around her rib   
cage. He felt anger rise up inside him.  
  
"John, I'm so sorry," she whimpered.  
  
"It's not your fault, do you understand that, none of this was your fault." He held her chin in his hands and   
looked deeply into her eyes. "I love you and I will take care of whom ever did this to you." He leaned in   
and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly to her. The phone was ringing   
in the back ground. Neither moved.  
  
"Hi, this is Abby, you know what to do……BEEP!"  
  
"Abby," Dr. Johanssen spoke, "Susan told me you left. I hope you remember what I said. I will come for   
you when the time is right. I will get what I want and what I want is you. Just remember it can get much   
worse if you don't do what I want."  
  
Abby stared at the machine in horror. She was trembling in John's arms.   
  
"Was that him?" He asked quietly.  
  
"Yes," she whispered, "He is the new attending in the ER," John could barely hear her.  
  
"We'll get through this, I promise."  
  
"Just hold me, please, don't ever let me go."  
  
"I'm not going to let you go for a very long time." They sat on the couch embraced in each other's arms. 


	3. I Don't Need A Babysitter

Abby stood at the ER doors. She had promised Carter that she would stay home today, call in   
sick, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She didn't not want anyone taking control over her   
while she was at work. She slowly walked through the doors and slid quietly into the lounge.   
Keeping her head down, she walked straight to her locker.  
  
"Good Morning Abby," Kerry was sitting at the table. "I'm glad you're here. I want to introduce   
you to the new attending, Cr. Johanssen."   
  
Abby froze. She slowly looked over and seen him sitting at the table with a smug look on his   
face. Abby managed to smile. "We've met," she turned back to her locker.  
  
"Abby is the Nurse Manager down here. She does a fine job. If you need anything, you let her   
know."  
  
"Oh, I will definitely do that," he answered. Abby felt chills rise up her spine. She knew she   
should have listened to Carter, so why didn't she? Why was she here? She slammed her locker   
closed and rushed out of the lounge before anyone would see her cry.  
"Hey, Kerry, I wanted to let you know that Abby was going to stay home today, she wasn't feeling   
well," John caught up with Kerry as she and Dr. Johanssen exited the lounge.  
  
"No, we just spoke with her. She was right on time, although she did seem a little off."  
  
"She's here?' John asked.  
  
"Yes, anyways, have you met the new attending, Dr. Thomas Johanssen." Kerry stepped aside   
and Dr. Johanssen held his hand out to him.  
  
"Dr. Johanssen?" Carter was surprised.  
  
"Yes, I have heard a lot of great things about you John. I look forward to working with you."  
  
John made a face at the guy and walked away.  
  
"John!" Kerry called out after him. He continued walking as if he could not here her. "I'm sorry, I   
don't know what that was all about."  
  
"That's okay. He'll come around and get used to me being here. How 'bout that tour now."  
"Carter! We got a trauma coming in!" Randi called out from behind the desk.  
  
"What is it?" He ran over pulling on his yellow gown.  
  
"GSW."  
  
Carter waited by the ambulance doors. He saw Abby walk out of Exam 1 and made eye contact   
with her. She had to walk over. He had finally seen her so now she needed to talk to him.  
  
"I thought you were going to stay home today,"  
  
"I couldn't."  
  
"What are you telling people?"  
  
"I started telling them that you beat me up," she smiled, "But no one believed it, so I had a fight   
with my door and the door won."  
  
"Abby, are you okay?"  
  
"As long as I don't have to see him."  
  
"I met him today. He's an asshole."  
  
"You're telling me," The ambulance pulled up, "You need a hand?"  
  
He nodded at her as he ran over.  
  
"What do you got?" He asked to medic.  
  
"GSW to left temple. Full arrest when we arrived. Intubated, IV wide open. 3 rounds epi, 2   
lidocaine."  
  
"Take him to Trauma 1."  
  
They all walked into the trauma room, including Dr. Johanssen. Abby took one look at him and   
froze. She couldn't think. People were yelling at her and she couldn't here them. Finally Chuny   
pushed her out of the way and started another line.  
  
Carter was doing compressions when Dr. Johanssen told him to stop.  
  
"Have you had a shockable rhythm?" He asked Carter.  
  
"Asystole,"  
  
"How longs he been down?"  
  
"38 minutes,"  
  
"Call it," Susan said from behind. "He's got brain matter all over."  
  
Carter stopped and pulled off his gloves. "Time of Death 11:59."  
  
Chuny turned off the machines and Carter looked around for Abby. She was no where to be   
seen. He looked over at Thomas, who was staring at her intently. Everyone had walked out   
except Kerry.  
  
"Kerry," Thomas cleared his throat, "Why don't you go see if he as any family that we need to   
notify."  
  
Kerry nodded and left the room.  
  
"Does Abby always do that?" Thomas spoke. John glared at him. "I mean run out on a trauma.   
I heard she does excellent work and that was very unprofessional."  
  
"And what you did was so professional," John muttered under his breath.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."  
  
"Stay away from her." He said louder.  
  
"And if I don't?"  
  
"Don't try me." Carter walked away.  
Carter finally found Abby hiding in the lounge.   
  
"You should go home," He sat down next to her.  
  
"I can't. I am not going to let him take me over."  
  
"Abby, he's interfering in your work. You need to file a complaint against him."  
  
"Look, John, do not tell me what I need to do. I will do what I want to do and I do not need a   
baby-sitter!" She got up and stormed out of the Lounge. Cater sat there dumbfounded. He didn't   
know what to do. He wanted to help her through this, but she wouldn't let him.  
  
"Abby, can you give the patient in Exam 2 another 5 migs of morphine," Susan called over to her.  
  
"Sure," She grabbed the chart and walked into Exam 2. "How are you," She looks at the chart,   
"Jason?"  
  
"My leg hurts." The 12-year-old said to her.  
  
"Don't worry kiddo, I'm going to give you something to make that all better." She injected the   
morphine into the IV.   
  
"Abby, may I speak to you for a second?" Thomas poked his head in the door. She looked at   
him and didn't answer.   
  
"Yes, j-just a minute," she whispered.   
  
"Are you a nurse here?" Jason asked her.  
  
"Yes, I am. How did you break your leg?"  
  
"I like to skateboard and I took a hard landing today."  
  
"Ouch. Okay, all set, you should start to feel better in a little bit. I'll be back to check on you."   
Abby set the chart on the end of his bed and walked out of the room.  
  
"What is it?" She asked Thomas.  
  
"I had a little chat with someone today."  
  
"That's usually something that you do when people are around."  
  
Thomas grabbed her arm tightly. "Do not get smart with me little girl. Carter knows and you told   
him."  
  
"I don't really expect how you could think that I could hide it." She could feel herself getting   
angry, but not scared. How dare he put his hands on her in public like this. "If you don't leave me   
alone, I will file a complaint, and you will go down."  
  
"Go ahead and file one. Who's going to believe an alcoholic nurse that drinks on the job?"  
  
"That's not true!" She exclaimed. He squeezed her arm tighter and leaned down into her face.  
  
"Try me. We'll see how many people believe you."  
  
"Carter will believe me."  
  
"Keep it up bitch and I will take care of him too."  
  
"Leave him alone." A tear fell down her cheek.  
  
"I love it when you cry."  
  
"Fuck you," His hand reached up and slapped her right in the face, sending her crashing to the   
floor. The commotion caused Carter, Susan, Chen, and Pratt to look over. They saw Dr.   
Johanssen bending over to pick her up. Carter and Susan ran over to her.  
  
"She must have tripped over that cord. Anyone could have done that, Come on now. I've got   
you," He pulled her up from the floor. John looked at her and saw the blood coming from her lip.  
  
"Tripped over a cord, huh? Let me ask you something, did you hit her before or after she fell?"   
Carter was furious and pulled Abby away from him.  
  
"John, please," she whispered.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about." Dr. Johanssen straightened his tie. "I saw her fall and I   
was simply helping her up. She's fine, not I suggest the rest of you get back to work." He walked   
away slowly. Abby stared at him as he left and he gave her a wink…………….. 


End file.
